WHILE eating brunch today (as actor Daniel S. Janik always concerned about weight, aka sedentary author Daniel Janik/Raymond Gaynor/Gary Martine), I found myself pondering the quintessentially classic question: Which is “more betta,” the knife, fork or spoon, which being as my partner is Japanese, immediately expanded to include hashi (chopsticks) and, in deference to America’s love affair with fast foods, fingers?

Given the universality of finger use early in life, it’s environmenta...