Something’s going on with the two tomato plants growing on my porch: They’ve suddenly stopped turning red! OMG, does that mean they’re gonna turn blue before November? Ha, ha. No, really, there’s actually lots of GREEN tomatoes remaining green, and they aren’t likely to turn red or blue in the near future. Can plants join political parties? Can they even party at all?

Maybe they’re pondering onion-izing alongside Amazon and Starbuck workers, but instead of going for more water, f...

AFTER diving deep, the Yellow Submarine surfaces and the hatch pops open to reveal, a land of diverse flowers and colors, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Book Club Land! And just when everything looks ship shape, what shows up but the Digital Blue Meanies, a literary figment of the imagination, buffoonish leaders of printed-book-hating creatures that lead an army of green-apple wielding bonkers, shooting clowns, snapping turks, anti-book missiles and, of course, the ever-dreadful flying glove, ...